july 15, 2025

---

dear s,

perhaps having known me this long you would've
known how much i do not like myself
for something i done years ago.
and that later people would find out,
and everyone would agree i am a monster.
no amount of redemption could make anyone
think otherwise. but you weren't like those people,
you saw past my mistakes.

until today, what do
you mean youre not okay with it? do you think
i am a monster suddenly, that suddenly
this is wrong and you cant acknowledge
the things i cannot control? i mean wow,
i already could never forgive myself,
and people would never let me and now
youre one of them? that is, almost laughable.

i had always figured because i am stuck
known as this horrible person id better just
give up, nobodys going to want to even
acknowledge my existence because i am
a joke now. but you, you didnt think so.
do you think so now? do you?

i shouldve known. i should have not
been so blindsided. this is a good
thing, the only person stopping me
finally no longer being that person is
good for me. this happening over something
completely different is a bit of a laugh though.
and i cannot believe im letting it affect me this much.
gotta do what you gotta do.

really, i should thank you.

i know who i am to you now.

someone you know, iz.

july 7, 2025

---

dear s,

this is really just a placeholder so this site doesn't look empty,
but how are you S?
im holding you in my heart.

your dearest wishes, iz.